Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease a 9x9 inch light metal baking pan and line with parchment paper.

In a medium bowl, combine Earl Grey tea leaves and culinary lavender. Whisk with flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

Cream together softened butter and sugar until pale and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add eggs and vanilla, mix until smooth.

Gradually mix in buttermilk and dry ingredients until just combined to ensure a moist texture.

Pour batter into the prepared pan and bake for 38-44 minutes. Cool in the pan for 30 minutes.

Heat whole milk and steep with Earl Grey tea and lavender for 15 minutes. Mix in sweetened condensed milk.

Cream cold cream cheese and softened butter until fluffy, then gradually add powdered sugar and ground lavender.

Poke holes in the cooled cake and pour the Earl Grey milk soak over it. Spread cream cheese frosting on top.