Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C) and prepare a 9x9 inch metal baking pan by greasing it and lining with parchment paper.

In a food processor, finely grind the Earl Grey tea and culinary lavender until powder-like. Sift this mixture.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, tea-lavender mixture, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

In a large bowl, cream softened butter and sugar until fluffy. Incorporate eggs one at a time and mix with vanilla bean paste.

Gradually mix buttermilk and dry ingredients into the butter mixture until just combined.

Pour batter into the prepared pan and bake for 38-44 minutes. Cool in the pan for 30 minutes before transferring.

Prepare the milk soak by heating whole milk, steeping the remaining tea and lavender for 10 minutes. Mix in sweetened condensed milk.

Beat together softened butter and cream cheese for frosting, gradually adding powdered sugar and lavender.

Poke holes in cooled cake, pour milk soak over, and frost with lavender cream cheese frosting.